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Cai Ruei-Heng (1989-)

“I once had a pet dachshund. Every time I see how it lives life, filled with food, sleep, and walks, I feel envious of its simple and carefree life.

 

After the dog left, apart from missing my dog, I started contemplating the difference between dogs and me. Why do Chinese-speaking people often say, ‘live like a dog,’ or ‘as tired as a dog?’ Perhaps dogs have thought about changing our control over them? How do they react and express themselves when I become their source of pressure?

 

On the one hand, I envy my pet dog for its simple lifestyle, but on the other hand, I realize that the lives of dogs are as trivial as human life, with routine walks and fixed routes, limited food options, or mating. When facing pressure from a superior source and their own inability of changing the situation, the dogs rebel against their ‘masters’ with certain ‘bad behaviors’ to release pressure. This empathy towards a dog’s life makes me realize its similarities with my experience of working in a factory. Faced with pressure and various demands that cannot be met, the anxiety and restlessness turn me into a plane that may crash at any minute. To eliminate this discomfort, I perform small acts of harmless rebellion and games within my factory of creativity, attempting to create fraction and chaos within the system through humor and self-deprecating jokes, despite the fact that these attempts are unable to create real change; the system is so massive, and the nuisances are too small. Led blindly by rules and regulations, these catharsis and trouble-making attempts within the system are so petty and incapable of creating real change.

 

The fact that I would like to become a dog is connected with the similarities between my situation and a dog’s; this is indeed a paradox! My identity is intertwined with a dog’s, but turning into a dog would not change anything. These awkward and messy situations make me create blurred images of dogs. These dogs resemble me; they resemble dogs, pigs, and human beings at the same time.” ── Cai Ruei-Heng

蔡瑞恒(1989-)

 

「曾養過一隻臘腸狗,每次看到牠過著吃飯睡覺散步的日子,狗一般單純的生活著,我很忌妒。為什麼牠可以這麼爽。 

 

就在牠離開我後,除了對牠瘋狂的思念外,也開始思索我和狗之間的分別。為何人們常說活得和狗一樣、累得和狗一樣。那牠是否也曾企圖改變些什麼我的掌控? 或是我造成牠壓力時,又做出了什麼樣的宣洩和表示呢。 

 

我一方面忌妒我的寵物狗過著單純的狗日,另一方面又覺得牠其實也和人類一樣卑微,被規定著散步的動向、能吃的食物或是交配對象等。當感受到上對下的壓力卻又無力完成改變時,便會做出各種『主人』所認定的『壞事』來舒緩。感受到牠的生命和我的工廠經驗好似一樣。面對壓力和自己無力達成各種要求,焦慮和不安彷彿自己就像隨時都要墜毀的飛機般。為了消彌這樣的不適應,在創作的工廠世界內做點小奸小惡、無傷大雅的遊戲,企圖以幽默和自嘲方式對制度製造些許的斷裂和混亂,卻又不至於改變些什麼。因為制度是如此的龐大,而他們的搗蛋又是如此的渺小。被規則帶著走,只能於制度內進行宣洩和小搗蛋,卑微且不企圖撼動些什麼。 

 

我想成為一隻狗這件事,和我覺得狗和我自身處境有著異曲同工,相互矛盾了吧。 我和狗的身分交織混雜,成為狗但好像又沒什麼改變。尷尬混亂的狀態讓我創作出模糊不清的狗型,長得像我,既是狗又像豬又像人的。」 ── 蔡瑞恒

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